What Men and Women Think About

What runs through a man’s mind during every five minute period :

Sex, Food, Work, Sex, Football, Beer, Sex, Work, Anger, Sex, Work, Football . . .

What runs through a woman’s mind during every five minute period :

Romance, Worry, Romance, Men, Diamonds, Worry, Romance, Marriage . . .

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How to make a fortune joke

Engineers and Managers A businessman flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. So he reduces his altitude and hovers over a man who is standing in the field below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field." "You must be an engineer," says the balloonist. "I am. How did you know?" "Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone." The man below says, "You must be in management." "I am. But how did you know?" "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's all my fault."

Cookie File Jokes

Cookie Files Lack of censorship or control on the net has resulted in even the weirdest, most depraved interests being catered for. As a consequence there now exists a vast array of information for fanatical train spotters and over passionate stamp collectors. If Christopher Columbus had been on the internet he could have discovered America without leaving home. The reason emails go missing is that they sometimes take the scenic route and lose their way in the Paris Metro. It’s bizarre - a website set up to help people who are addicted to surfing has become so popular that some people visit it a hundred times every day.

Viagra - A Cure for Everything

A young man goes to visit his grandfather in the nursing home. He asks the elderly gentleman how he has been sleeping at night. The grandfather replies that they give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet every night before he goes to bed and he sleeps like a baby. The man thinks it strange giving an old man Viagra so he finds his grandfather's nurse to ask why. “The hot chocolate makes him sleepy,” replies the nurse, “and the Viagra keeps him from rolling out of bed.”

Funny Jokes

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