Skip to main content

Computer Virus Jokes


Computer Health Warning


When downloading software from the web you risk infecting your computer with a virus.

The most dangerous being :-


Psychiatrist Virus :: There’s no change to your computer but a very large bill appears from the printer.

Vet Virus :: Your mouse develops a nasty squeak and runs away when you try to use it.

Pantomime Actor Virus :: Your computer works. Oh no it doesn’t. Oh yes it does. Oh no it doesn’t . . . 

Office Junior Virus :: All your computer files rearrange themselves randomly.

Teacher Virus :: Big red crosses appear all over your screen with a message saying “Stay behind after class.”

Civil Servant Virus :: Everything you type appears in triplicate.

Athlete Virus :: Your C.D. Disc suddenly ejects and flies 100 metres across the room.

Salesman Virus :: A warning message appears telling you that your computer urgently needs a new printer, memory and modem.

Doctor Virus :: A message appears saying that your computer has been checked and is in perfect condition. Ten minutes later it drops down dead.

Lap Top Dancer Virus :: Your lap top starts to dance.

Magician Virus :: Everything you have typed disappears and a rabbit pops up out of the C.D. drive. 

Student Virus :: Your computer will laze about doing nothing for days on end.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

If Einstein had been a woman

If Einstein had been a woman . . . Men express their thoughts in a logical systematic manner – whereas women talk in a less structured way and are more concerned with feelings than facts. If Einstein had been a woman she would have probably said something like, “I was in the mall yesterday looking for a new dress, I eventually bought a cute red one which I’ll show you later. Anyway I suddenly got this strange feeling about that energy thing. Now that reminds me I must pay that gas bill. But, as I was saying, I suddenly had the notion that E=MC2 - I can’t be sure of course but I spoke to my best friend Alice about it and she said . . . . . . . .”
Post a Comment
Read more

Viagra Joke

Viagra - a Handy Little Friend It was recently reported in the newspaper that a 16 year old kid took three Viagra pills. He had to be rushed to this hospital with 3rd degree burns on his hand.
Post a Comment
Read more

Viagra - A Cure for Everything

A young man goes to visit his grandfather in the nursing home. He asks the elderly gentleman how he has been sleeping at night. The grandfather replies that they give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet every night before he goes to bed and he sleeps like a baby. The man thinks it strange giving an old man Viagra so he finds his grandfather's nurse to ask why. “The hot chocolate makes him sleepy,” replies the nurse, “and the Viagra keeps him from rolling out of bed.”
Post a Comment
Read more