Computer Virus Jokes

Computer Health Warning

When downloading software from the web you risk infecting your computer with a virus.

The most dangerous being :-


Psychiatrist Virus :: There’s no change to your computer but a very large bill appears from the printer.

Vet Virus :: Your mouse develops a nasty squeak and runs away when you try to use it.

Pantomime Actor Virus :: Your computer works. Oh no it doesn’t. Oh yes it does. Oh no it doesn’t . . . 

Office Junior Virus :: All your computer files rearrange themselves randomly.

Teacher Virus :: Big red crosses appear all over your screen with a message saying “Stay behind after class.”

Civil Servant Virus :: Everything you type appears in triplicate.

Athlete Virus :: Your C.D. Disc suddenly ejects and flies 100 metres across the room.

Salesman Virus :: A warning message appears telling you that your computer urgently needs a new printer, memory and modem.

Doctor Virus :: A message appears saying that your computer has been checked and is in perfect condition. Ten minutes later it drops down dead.

Lap Top Dancer Virus :: Your lap top starts to dance.

Magician Virus :: Everything you have typed disappears and a rabbit pops up out of the C.D. drive. 

Student Virus :: Your computer will laze about doing nothing for days on end.