Cyber~Geek Glossary
Baud Rate : the rate your heart beat reaches as you impatiently wait for a web page to load.
Netgroup : a bunch of old bores endlessly discussing the weather.
Browser : a program which searches for the information you want but instead gives you a selection of pornography, advertisements and trivia.
Cookies : Files secretly planted on your P.C. as part of a computer master plan to take over the world.
Email : see junk mail.
Favorites : A massive list of long forgotten sites which once seemed crucially important.
Download : A technical term meaning theft and plagiarism.
Homepage : A glitzy, snazzy, brilliantly animated entrance to a completely dull, boring and pointless web site.
Local Area Network : The World Wide Web on a bad day.
Link : a connection which takes you from a useless site to a totally useless site.
Modem : a device which ties up your phone line for twenty four hours every day.
Snailmail : The use of trained molluscs to deliver letters.
Search Engine: A program which finds every web site except the one you lovingly created.
Servers : Powerful computers which conspire to keep you off the internet.
Web : A global collection of obsolete, inaccurate, worthless information. Surf : The act of moving around the Web using links until you’ve completely forgotten what you were looking for in the first place.
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