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Internet Language Jokes



Cyber~Geek Glossary


Baud Rate : the rate your heart beat reaches as you impatiently wait for a web page to load.

Netgroup : a bunch of old bores endlessly discussing the weather.

Browser : a program which searches for the information you want but instead gives you a selection of pornography, advertisements and trivia.

Cookies : Files secretly planted on your P.C. as part of a computer master plan to take over the world.

Email : see junk mail.

Favorites : A massive list of long forgotten sites which once seemed crucially important.

Download : A technical term meaning theft and plagiarism.

Homepage : A glitzy, snazzy, brilliantly animated entrance to a completely dull, boring and pointless web site.

Local Area Network : The World Wide Web on a bad day.

Link : a connection which takes you from a useless site to a totally useless site.

Modem : a device which ties up your phone line for twenty four hours every day.

Snailmail : The use of trained molluscs to deliver letters.

Search Engine: A program which finds every web site except the one you lovingly created.

Servers : Powerful computers which conspire to keep you off the internet.

Web : A global collection of obsolete, inaccurate, worthless information. Surf : The act of moving around the Web using links until you’ve completely forgotten what you were looking for in the first place.

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