Talking Relationships

The difference between men and women : Talking

When a man returns home tired and weary after a hard day’s toil he needs about twenty minutes peace and quiet just to unwind from the stresses and strains he has suffered. Unfortunately when he gets home his wife needs to tell him, all the problems and issues which have developed during the day. Luckily men have developed the ability to listen, appear interested and sleep all at the same time.

If you want to make a woman happy talk more, if you want to make her really happy talk about your relationship, if you want to make her ecstatic talk about the diamond ring you are going to buy her.

Women have the ability to talk and listen at the same time - so she’s not being rude when she interrupts while you are speaking. Of course, if you interrupt her while she’s talking you’re in real trouble for she knows that men can’t talk and listen at the same time.

Never snore while a woman is talking. It may give her the impression that you’re not listening.

While women have developed the ability to listen to six conversations simultaneously men have developed the ability to listen to one conversation in a rowdy pub while a 100 decibel wall of sound bombards them from all around.

Male speech is minimalist. It has no place for the twists and turns, the flowery imagery and innuendo that embellishes the speech of females. Shortly after meeting a woman in a club a man is likely to say, ‘Let’s go to my place and have sex’ A woman compensates for the man’s lack of language skills by filling in the blanks. She will know that what he is trying to say in his pathetic little way is, ‘I am a desperately lonely slob with absolutely no social graces but having consumed eight pints of beer I have plucked up the courage to come over and talk to you and make a complete fool of myself.’

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Engineers and Managers A businessman flying in a hot air balloon realizes he is lost. So he reduces his altitude and hovers over a man who is standing in the field below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, about 30 feet above this field." "You must be an engineer," says the balloonist. "I am. How did you know?" "Everything you told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone." The man below says, "You must be in management." "I am. But how did you know?" "You don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's all my fault."

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